Things Shall Change

Evolution is the Key

With the arrival of June, it'll be nearly 6 months since my first post on The Yaqqothl Grimoire. I think it's time to draw some conclusions about what I've done here, and the reason why I feel so poorly satisfied. When I first started this blog, I did so for one reason: plan a long lasting science fantasy sandbox campaign, one that would be way better than my first attempt, The Doomed Wastelands. As time has passed, though, I've worked on many different projects, many of which never saw the light of day. Yaqqothl, the Middle-earth supplement, Pages from the Grimoire, Ulikton, The Haunted Halls of Karzhad, and even others that died before having been considered for more than one day. So what's the point of this whole big time-wasting operation? There must be something wrong somewhere.

The first reason why I abandon my projects is that if I'm not gonna play them, why should anyone else do so? The second reason, is to follow other projects I'm more interested in. The third, is that I've the bad habit of wanting everything, immediately. And if I don't get it, I simply lose interest in it. It's a strange mix of shit, isn't it? More so, as I see other people carrying on their projects for months, and have them taking shape in such a beautiful way.

One other big issue I'm facing is, well, the language. I know this might sound odd to you, but figure out the situation: you write something for you (in english), and then decide to share it with the community (which also speaks english.) So you take your file, turn in into a pdf, upload it to Mediafire or some other similar web hosting. This doesn't work for me. I decide to write something, fine: what language shall I use? Say italian. Well, and what if I want to share it with the whole wide net? I have to translate it into english. Big waste of time. Ok, so I write it in english. Great, so what's the matter? I'll tell you: what if I decide not to share it? I'd have wasted a lot of time writing it in a language that is not mine, just to have something that a) I need to translate back to italian to use in-game and b) is full of shitty syntax anyway.

And still I'm not able to write "just for me". Anytime I put together a new document, I spend more time working on the layout than writing actual content in it. And when I'm finally happy, the following day I change something, and start it all over again, over and over like a fucking Penelope. God knows how much I want to know how the hell you organize your work! Really.

For the one of you who stayed awake till the end of this long, dry as hell speech, I need help. Or better, I need to help myself fight my way out of this quagmire I'm drowning in. And this time, I need to do it differently than how I've done it in the past. If this had happened six months ago (and, as a matter of fact, it did), I would have solved the problem my usual way: catharsis. You know, things like burn the old and make some room for the new, delete a blog and start another, empty the hard-drive, throw away the old stuff and buy some new, change girlfriend. Because be honest, making a clean sweep is much easier than putting in order the great junkyard of shit you have in your head (or in your closet, or in your life, whatever the case.) Unfortunately, the time to grow up arrives for everyone, and I'm in such a position where burn and destroy is not an option anymore. I mean, I have 116 people listening to my shit, and while the impulse to ask Blogger to put the whole blog in the bin, and start rambling on a new name, would not be fair to those who have spent their time on my posts, hoping to see one of my many project see the light of day. Additionally, it wouldn't be fair towards me, for I have worked pretty hard to get here. You know, passing the 100 followers mark is like having your character survive first level.

So I'm here to find solutions. I have decided to focus on one project, the Tower of Zordaz Megadungeon. Of course the name sucks, but it's the only one I have right now. The point is, I need to find a method for this madness: a place to hold notes and oddments, another for the important bits, another for the final draft. Of course, I could always just post it all here, but a blog is not very easy to use in-game, especially since I've decided not to bring my laptop to the gaming table again (it takes up too much space.) And there's always the problem of writing everything in english, which takes me much longer than using my native language. Fuck that, I wish I was born in the right part of the world. At least, in the one where people speak the right language. By the way, my point is: how do you manage this? Haven't you something to teach me? What do you use for your notes and maps? A binder? A notebook? A laptop? I'm really interested in any campaign planning suggestion you can offer me, and also in seeing pics of your binders and notebooks and everything else.

For all the others, I'm sorry for this. All going well, things should start working again in June. May has been a shit of a month, really. Uh, and thank you.