Birthday Party Game Recap

FIRST you get a pic of me wearing most of the presents:

Front Me

Back Me

And yes I had a Black Cloak, Some Stupid Fake Glasses, a Scepter, a Crown and a home-made t-shirt of Zardoz (which I'm wearing right now.) Other presents included some home-made hydromel, a bottle of Trappist Beer and a bottle of Cider – I call this fucking loot!! Also, my girlfriend gave me a Mokone (or a very big moka that is not really a moka in that it is actually an espresso machine), and me myself presented me with a wonderful new mobile phone (hell yeah finally I will blog from the phone!) aaaand I'm planning to also present myself a copy of Vornheim City Kit – goo! And also a copy of Carcosa, when Jim'll finally manage to get it in print (MAAAN I'M DYING FOR THAT CRAZY BOOK!!) (YEAH I'M SCREAMING RIGHT TO YOUR FACE BUDDY GIVE IT UP NOOOOW!!!)

Ok, so that's me and my loot – MUHAUHAUHAUHAUHAUHA. Fine.

I had six players (four guys decided not to play but to get drunk laughing loudly – I was already drunk and, yeah maybe also something else that I'm not explaining to you) (to be honest the only non-drunk guy was my brother) (screw you brother! WTF?! Wasn't it supposed to be a party?!). Character creation took about 10 minutes: roll attributes, tell me about your attributes, I suggest a class for you and if you're fine it's okay, then you choose a race between the standard ones or something else (unfortunately, only my brother dared to play a Wookiee.) Then you have chainmail (if you are a warrior) or leather armor (if you're one of the sneaky types) or nothing at all (if you're a mage) and a two-handed weapon/weapon + shield/missile weapon of your own choice. Fine, now the guy playing the Dwarf Warrior has a two-handed double-headed battle axe and shuriken – that's so fucking punk yes. Also, my girlfriend made up Xeena, but unfortunately she didn't actually play (as she was too involved in getting drunk – my sweetie.) Recap from hereon in is in the form of the conversation as I recall it from saturday night.

Human Paladin, Human Magic-user, Dwarf Warrior, "alotofbeer"

DM: "So you start in this city named Ibkah. The place is particularly famous for its slave market, its sorcerer ruler and some other shit. You were told of the great possibility for adventure: to the east, there's an dense jungle which is said to contain a Black Ziggurat; to the west, there's a venomous swamp which is said to be the site of the temple of a truly powerful demon; and finally to the north there are some mountains and a village, and most merchants will be happy to hire you as mercenaries."
Barbarian: "Uh, Black Ziggurat – sounds groovy."
Paladin: "We go to the fucking Ziggurat!"
DM: "Fine, you walk for a couple of days following the river *check-check-check* and nothing relevant happens. The fourth day you sight a colossal Monolith. It looks like you're not alone: some figures are approaching the monolith too, but they are too distant to tell who they are."
Paladin: "I want to go closer and loudly say «HELLO THERE!»"
DM: "Still too distant – they can't hear you."
Paladin: "Ok so I go even closer."
DM: "As you approach them you see that they are wearing strange suits – blue, red and yellow. The one that looks like the leader (who is tall and blond) says something to one of the guys that looks somehow like an elf. «Who are these autochthonous Mr. Spock?»"
Paladin: "Did he actually say Spock?"
DM: "Yes, at least..."
Paladin: "...I stab him in the face!"
DM: "Oh - fine. Ok so this is combat: all of you tell me what your characters are doing."
Dwarf Warrior: "I shoot 'em with my shuriken!"
Half-orc Barbarian: "I charge!"
Hobbit Thief: "Can I hide?"
DM: "Of course you can! As a matter of fact, you're pretty good at hiding."
Hobbit Thief: "Oh! So I don't hide, I ultra-hide! And if someone dies I take his stuff."
DM: "Fine!"
Magic-user: "I cast Magic-missile!"
Wookiee Warrior: "I charge with my halberd!"
DM: "Ok, fine, let's check initiative. One of you guys rolls a regular die for your party, I roll one for mine, the highest attacks first."
*roll roll roll*
DM: "You have initiative. All of you attacking, roll the funky die and tell me what you hit – the MU only rolls a d6, for Magic-missile never misses, and the Thief is just sticking close."
*roll roll roll*
People: "We all hit Kirk."
DM: *shock* "Oh, so Kirk falls dead to the ground."
Thief: "I TAKE HIS STUFF!!"

To be continued...